I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.

To be clear not Instagram or any other forum, so this is not to say “social media” as a whole, it’s Facebook specific.

Before I lose any readers let me start with the “love” of that opening sentence.

In the Facebook world I “love” all the things which are beneficial. Facebook Marketplace can be addicting and the “helping hands” groups are a tremendous tool, not to mention can give me warm fuzzies on occasion watching the generosity between strangers.

I equally love all the baby photos, milestone celebrations and adorable pets; oh my goodness the sweet faces and antics of the pets - love it.

Now into summer it’s fun to see what people may have grown in their garden, beautiful flowers blooming and breathtaking sunrise and sunsets. What’s not to like with any of this?

Truth be told and accepting the disapproval which may follow, I’m just not one for all the pomp and circumstance of the “gender reveals.” But then I’m from a generation which was divided on the simple fact of if you were going to find out the sex (yes that’s what we once said) or not. It was a personal choice and during my time a very debated one socially.

Now when I say a “very debated one,” this brings me naturally to my not so favorite part of Facebook.

During the time of the “very debated” will you find out the sex of the baby, those conversations were all had in person. They were had between people you knew personally or on a stretch with a colleague of your husband or a parent’s friend who you perhaps knew cordially.

There was no place to publicly ask the opinion of strangers if you should find out if your baby was a boy or girl before its birth.

Keeping in mind this is a stretch of an example to share what’s driving me away from Facebook and yes to all of you “ones with the answers,” I’m quite aware I can just “keep scrolling.”

As a journalist, I earn a living on two things: words and connection to people.

During COVID, followed by my personal illness, I relied on much of my work being done over the phone. It’s an option I’m grateful for, yet unless in a pinch would prefer not to use.

I believe in human contact and by that I do not mean commenting “cute” on a baby post or sharing a photo of my son and I at the top of a hill after a hike.

I’m a lover of three-dimensional life, not one moving at light speed on a smartphone, iPad or laptop. There’s so much more behind the story that goes with that photo, yet somehow we’ve allowed ourselves to become lazy by way of relationships and use these posts as a CliffsNotes to keeping up with those in our lives.

My biggest gripe always comes back to the keyboard warriors and those who engage in the misery. For all the good that can be found on this forum, there is this side which can at times bring a frown witnessing the disrespect people not only have for those they know but complete strangers.

The right fighters of the world, who know what they know and know most definitely that you are uninformed.

One simple post on a site seen by thousands, alleging you name it about another individual can cripple that person beyond our comprehension. It boggles my mind to see the very people sharing thoughts and encouragement on mental health and suicide prevention schooling another on their ignorance often including the words, “no disrespect.” Really?

When did we all become so caught up in what we know, mostly through this same forum, that we are now experts in areas in such a way that we can judge and be disrespectful?

I mean, I actually know people who have gotten so upset by a post from a stranger that they speak about it for days.

We truly must do better. The habits and examples of this being shown to our children is unhealthy.

We now have babies who automatically smile when they see someone raise a smart phone. As humans many have forgotten the art of small talk proper greeting when seeing someone they haven’t in a while. Gone are the how have you beens? How are the kids? Replaced by a smart phone shoved in your face showing video or photos of their baby, puppy or grandchild.

Truth be told, I love sharing in the lives of others. Heck I built a career sharing many in these very pages. I’m also old school and prefer cordial how do you dos, a good hug, good to see you and the like before being confronted with a device in my face. Perhaps it’s just me.

For those who love the forum and I know there are many – awesome. For those “schooling” others for the sake of their own ego, it may be time to take a break. And for those like myself – long live the Instagram, where we scroll photos, comment on occasion and stay clear of drama. Personally in real life - I have enough.

Happy scrolling.

Teresa Hammond is a staff reporter for The Oakdale Leader, The Riverbank News and The Escalon Times. She may be reached at thammond@oakdaleleader.com or by calling 209-847-3021.